The Way Things Will Always Be
by The Maiden Amorisa
Summary: Based on Kay's Phantom. Erik's mood take's a turn for the worse when he lets Christine go, and waits for her to deliver his wedding invatation as promised


The Way Things Will Always Be

By: The Maiden Amorisa

AN: I wrote this for the Dark Phic Morbidity Contest on but now since the contest is over, I am allowed to post it here. Mainly based on Kay's Phantom, but I realized to late that Erik had heart attacks, not seizures.

She's not coming.

"Not coming, not coming, not coming. Christine isn't coming. Yes she is. No she's not. Shut up! Get out of my head, she's not coming!"

I know she's not coming. The boy has much more sense then that to let her ever come back to me. I had asked them to deliver a written invitation to their wedding, the Vicomte agreed, and I saw my beloved child nod absent-mindedly. She looked so lost and helpless. In a daze, why on earth did I let her go! She kissed me, she chose me, but I let her go, and now she's not coming!

I throw myself on Christine's bed and sob helplessly. Why couldn't god just grant me luck this once? All I had wanted in life was my Christine.

"Christine, Christine. Come back to me. Christine I love you, come back! She's not coming back! Yes she is! No she's not! Yes she is, get out of my head!"

Maybe the boy is right, maybe I am crazy.

I inhale the pillow and close my eyes, it still smells of her, and I let out a small moan and shudder as a seizure hits me. I lie on the bed and let it pass, not caring about the pain any longer, it's arousing, its delicious, I desire the pain, and I want the pain. I am pain.

When it passes, I frown, who knows when a seizure will be strong enough to take me away from this horrid life I live, away from the heartbreak. Maybe I'd be willing to fight the pain, fight the seizures if I had Christine by my side, but she'll never be by my side, she'll never come back.

"She'll come back. Christine chose me, she wanted me. She'll come back." It is back, "she doesn't want you! You are a monster!" I cry, I can't help it as the tears leak down my face "No I'm not! I'm her angel, she loves me!" It laughs in my head. "She doesn't!" "SHE DOES!" I let out a scream and clutch my head tightly to block it out. It won't go away unless…

I know what to do now. I should have done it long ago. Mother should have done it for me, but that spiteful bitch wanted me to suffer like she suffered. Whore. I am glad she is dead, but then again, I will be too, we will burn in hell together for eternity and I'll never see my angel again.

I sigh and walk out of the Louis-Philippe room. I pick up my beloved Ayesha and stroke her head lovingly. Ayesha always loved me, and it seems almost like a betrayal to leave her like this, but she can survive on her own, she could hunt mice, and I am sure if Nadir found her, he'd give her a good home. Nadir would do no less; he knows I would want it that way.

I kiss my furry companion one last time on the head and place her down, ignoring the pitiful mewl she makes. She knows me, she reads me, but I ignore her plea.

I go to my knife collection, the one I so mockingly told Christine she could use if she planned to kill herself in her bridal chambers at the horror of marrying me. It seems ironic that it is I who will die this way because I cannot marry Christine, because she isn't coming back.

I run my hand along the blade, its sharp and I close my eyes and relish the feeling of the cold, cool blade against my sweaty skin.

No going back now.

Deliciously I slide the blade across my arm, cutting into the major arteries; if you are going to do something, you should do it right. I shudder in pain and sink to the floor, but muster up enough strength to cut my wrists again. The pain is duller this time, but I can still feel it, and I still let out a small cry.

I see the blood spill from my arms in crimson red waves. I am surprised my blood is red. With my black heart, my blood should be black as night, but the crimson waves leak out and I bring my arm over my head, my blood smearing on my face, dripping on my lips. It tastes sour and sweet at the same time, and I let out a small moan before I let the arm fall limply at my side.

Things are getting a little dim, but I hear voices suddenly.

"Erik?" It's an angel's voice. "Erik, we are here? Where are you?"

Oh no, not like this. Oh god, don't let her see me like this.

"Erik I…oh my god!" I hear her scream as she runs to me. "Raoul, come in here quickly. Please Erik, don't die!"

The Vicomte rushes in beside her, and I hear her sobs and the boy's gasp of horror.

"Get him on the bed!" I hear Christine sob as she strokes my face; she takes off my mask and is kissing my sweaty face. "Oh Erik, why?"

She tries to hold me, but I stubbornly move away.

"Leave…" I hear myself hiss as everything dims further.

She reaches for me again and holds me firmly against her bosom, singing softly to me, and everything goes black.

I feel myself lifting from my body, and I can see everything below me.

Christine is sobbing hysterically, and the boy is trying to pull her away from the body, saying there is nothing they can do, that I'm gone.

Ayesha sits by her side, a pitiful mewl escapes her, crying out for me, for her fallen master.

Christine kisses my lifeless lips as the boy places a sheet over my body.

Christine picks up Ayesha and for once the cat does not resist her, Christine mumbling that it's the last thing she has of me left besides my memory, and the boy doesn't stop her from taking the cat. At least in death I am assured the one being that ever loved me will be cared for.

Things are feeling hot now, and I know I am going to hell. I could expect no less, a fallen angel of god, a voice of an angel, the face of a demon, to go anyplace but hell.

I am the Angel of Hell, and I'll never be with my Angel of Music.

That's the way things always have been, and always will be.


End file.
